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May 7, 2009
Pearly Whites
Bleaching the Pearly Whites While Purifying the Soul
I may be a sinner, but I'm no liar. "I'm whitening my teeth," I explained. "That'th why I'm talking like thith." "You're ... multitasking?" she said, her smile sliding down her face. Was that bad? Surely no god would want me to parade through this world with dingy dentistry. The service was lovely. Inspiring, even. We sang "Here Comes the Sun" and people shared stories of change in their lives. For the first time, I really understood the appeal of church. Like seeing a therapist, Sunday worship is scheduled mindfulness — setting aside a small chunk of time to think about important things, to wrestle with them quietly, in a softly lit spot, so we can put them out of our heads for the rest of the week. But I won't go back. The divinity-invoking raised my hackles, and the congregation was pushy, trying to get me to stay afterward and sign up for things. I'm not a stayer. Not a congregater. Not a signer-upper. Their program just didn't do enough to wear down my infidel enamel. The Whitestrips, on the other hand, worked miracles.
Comments
| Starshine, your collumn made my day! As a fellow athiest, all I can is AMEN. Thanks Jeff Dameron. |
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Jeff Dameron
Mon May 11, 2009
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| Praise the Lord. A public person who is not afraid to say, "I don't believe in that crap, I mean stuff. I've admired your style, your honesty, and now your guts. Thanks for being so refreshingly genuine. I have hidden behind the "my-religion-is-complicated" dodge for years, being in public education and having no guts. Praise be to you. |
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Dennis Smith
Mon May 11, 2009
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| Star, this is one of your funniest columns ever! I loved it on so many levels. And it further cracked me up to see that my athiest husband had already read it and responded. I was just about to forward it to him. Way to go! Ellen |
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Ellen Dameron
Mon May 11, 2009
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| I have never understood why otherwise intelligent, rational people embrace such a transparently irrational concept. Religion, on the other hand is fine with me. :-) |
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LEE
Mon May 11, 2009
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| You're such a kindred spirit, Starshine. This column ranks right up there with the one blasting Prop. 8 supporters. Love ya! |
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Tom Leger
Mon May 11, 2009
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| I liked you before, now I love you! It's brave to admit you don't believe in sky fairies...it isn't a popular thing for some odd reason. Anyway, this is now my second favorite column of yours. The first being your letter to Prop 8 supporters. You are awesome! |
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Debbie (columnist as well)
Mon May 11, 2009
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Starshine: You had me laughing at the title. I knew Pearly Whites had a funny story behind it...and it was so entertaining. With similiar beliefs now,there was a time when I was a sporadic church goer (hey, my mom said the kids needed an introduction to religion); I was uncomfortable in the seventies when the priest said, "now extend a sign of peace to your neighbor." At first I thought he said "piece" and I was frantically looking through my purse for something I could present (e.g....here's a bong??)....but then, as you mention, out comes the envelopes, and the sign up sheets, and the unison pledges....which I don't understand. I now go to yoga on Sunday morning....but all those ohms and pranayama's may interfere with crest strips...maybe I will try pain strips across my lower lumbar. No one will know.(well, maybe god)
Thanks again for making me laugh! |
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Christine Del Deo
Mon May 11, 2009
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