Rated PG for Parental Gaffe

A (Shocking) Walk Down Movie Memory Lane

I realize the memory fizzles as you age, but I don't recall my favorite flicks containing so much sex, violence, drugs, and blush-inducing skank-talk. In my nostalgia-tinged recollection, Beverly Hills Cop was funny. Just funny. It did not end in a chilling, slow-mo bloodbath. In my rosy reminiscence, the word "fish" was the only four-letter-F-word in A Fish Called Wanda, and Victoria Tennant absolutely did NOT writhe around on a bed in All of Me demanding that Steve Martin call her "a dirty sex poodle." What in the name of Jack Joseph Valenti has happened to these family comedies since I first saw them?

It's not likely these age-inappropriate moments will turn my preteen into a Colt-toting, foul-mouthed, um, sex poodle. In fact, if I didn't remember ever seeing them, maybe he won't either. But they do make for awkward viewing. Remember the ghastly discomfort of watching a movie sex scene with your mother — or your grandfather — in the room? You stare silently, trying not to move, or breathe, hoping the throat-clearing grown-up will forget you're there.

I'm heartsick to report that the feeling only worsens as an adult, because now it's your fault; you're the nimrod who suggested the movie and invited innocent eyeballs to watch.

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