Cars Are for Banging

Stares Notwithstanding, I'm at Ease in a Dent-Riddled Ride

There are moments in life when you realize you're different from everyone else. Like fundamentally, even freakishly, different. And that you may never see things the way others do.

I feel that way when people exalt Jack Johnson (I'd yawn if I could summon the energy). Or when they confess that public speaking terrifies them (the mere sight of a podium turns me on). Or when they utter incongruous phrases like, "It's too sweet for my taste." (Wha... ?).

Those sentiments don't fit into the jigsaw puzzle that is my brain. Nor does this one: "Yikes. What happened to your car?"

I hear it a lot. When I pull into a friend's driveway, see an acquaintance at the gas station, or drive through the school drop-off line.

"Ouch. What happened to your poor car?"

It always takes me a second to figure out what they're talking about. Then I remember the sizable dent and scrape on the side of my Honda, the result of parking next to a short pole and carelessly slamming into it as I backed out. That was two years ago, and — though the sound it made was otherworldly, causing bystanders to wince and tighten their shoulders up around their earlobes — I've scarcely thought of it since. In fact, I only recall it when people gasp and offer heartfelt sympathy, as though it had happened to my face, rather than my fender.

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