Last weekend, like all weekends before it, I was confronted with a barrage of shame-inducing images: Fleshless twenty-somethings flitting along downtown sidewalks in jeans tighter than the skin on grapes. Itty bitty bikinis dangling in department store windows, looking more like polka dot rubber bands than something that might actually cover my ba-donk-a-donk.
Whiny, drooly and prone to mess themselves just as you’re headed out the door, puppies and newborn babies have a lot in common. But who’s more trouble?
Lettuce? Yes. String cheese? Sure. But did you know there’s bliss to be found in the aisles of a supermarket?
I’m no stranger to sedation. As a teen, whenever the storm of adolescence would shudder through my soul and come surging out of my face in the form of sobs and tears, my mother would offer me Valium.
It’s the time of the week when Starshine Roshell talks about the time of the month. In her opinion, a girl’s entry into womanhood need not be a stain on an otherwise immaculate record.
Starshine reveals the bare-bottom truths about spanking.
Starshine mixes some social commentary with a tribute to Dr. Suess on his birthday.
Inspired by Rev. Ted Haggard’s miraculous conversion, Starshine Roshell confesses her boredom with heterosexuality and ponders the possibility of making a switch.
Starshine compares nutty astronauts and icy presidential candidates, asking ‘How do we want our female leaders— passionate and unpredictable or controlled and calculated?’
Starshine answers for her puzzling, pony-tailed gender in The Third-Grader’s Guide to Girls.